wanting.wishing.waiting.

~ I am such a girl, waiting all night for a phone call that i doubt will come. I got my hopes a little bit up, a very tiny bit like less than an inch up. But me not trusting in people proved me right again. I mean you never said that you would call i just hoped that you would... it sucks majorly. I just wish that i could find something stable and secure and long lasting. I thought it was ironic that i used your name in a story...maybe my story will come true. I know it will it just depends on when. I'm so sick of sleeping alone.

~ I miss you...i want you back...you dont want me...i dont need you...it would be bad for me...i know this...you were like an adicition i couldn't quit until it was quit for me...I see things and pictures and think that that should be me we should be there...but you left...im still trying to get over it in someways and i dont know why I thought i was over it. I guess in some way i will never COMPLELTY be over it because you were major part of my life.

~ I remember the last time i was single...its so different from now. Then i could go maybe a week without a kiss...this time its been a month. I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Is there something i can change? Or am i just learning to grow up and wait for things to happen. Waiting sucks...being patient is lame.

~ When will my true love happen to me? I'm sick of waiting. My heart hurts. And i turn to You my God. I turn to you for help and it does help and i know that everything happens in your time not mine. And when i am ready you will let it happen for me. I just wish that you would send him to me soon. Or not have it be forever.

~It sucks needing to talk to your best friend and have them never answer their phone. It sucks getting made fun of one way or another at work. I have low self esteeem as it is i dont need their crap as well. I think it might be time to move onto something better.

~I'm still getting sick of getting ditched and always making plans. I've tried not to do anything about it i get to lonely just waiting talking to no one. But sometimes I wonder if some of you would ever get ahold of me if I stopped talking to you and i generally lean towards yes. You have people more important than me that you can go to for friendship. I still feel like a second resort to some of you. I just want to give up on so many things but i cant. I'm to stubborn to give up I just have to remember that.

~ I see what you are doing knock it the hell off it will get you no where.

~ I've realized that your not into me considering i hardly see you. You say you miss me than do something about it.

~ Why is it that when something good happens or i think something good could happen it never does? Maybe I am just jumping ahead of myself its only been a little time its had been hardly anything.

~ Apparently i have an attitude sometimes...you would to if you were in my shoes.

~ I'm done.