breakdown

~I am so nervous, scared, and worried. I know it could be nothing and go away. But what if its not nothing? what if if turns into something horrible?? Its so hard to sit and wait for that damn call telling me if i have...pre cancerous cells or not. Who knows how long it will be until i get the call. I thought i was...ugh. I dont want to deal with this I want it to go away. And sometimes it does, the body gets rid of what is causing the irregular cells. I just really hope that this is my case.

~ It's hard when you are happy but when someone you care about is so miserable because of me. I feel like a horrible bitch. I should have said something sooner. I really did want it to happen but no matter how hard i tried i just couldn't make it happen. I am so sorry. I dont know what else to say. I don't know what i can do.

~ I am tired, tired of taking on everyones emotions. This is what i do. I will take on your emotional stress and add it to my own. I dont know why I do this but i do and I break down everynow and then. I can feel my breakdown point coming and i am not happy about it. But this is who i am and what i do.

~ I am worried i will be compared to the others. And I dont want to be.

~ I miss life when it wasn't complicated and when it was easy and not stressful. I wish we could all go back to that point.